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Where Family Law and Psychology Intersect

Our guest this Episode, Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D. and CSAT-S (Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist), introduces TheHourGLASSpodcast viewers to a whole new problem among many divorced parents with kids: enmeshment — or as some psychological experts like to label it, "covert incest." Enmeshment has nothing to do with sexual contact. In sum, enmeshment is when a child becomes overly involved in an emotionally immature parent’s life; the child becomes a surrogate spouse or partner. The child is made to feel responsible and loyal to a parent as they tend to the parent’s emotional needs and well-being. It happens in different ways, which psychologist Adams explains in his interview with Host Glass. Adams knows his stuff. He has many credits. His specialty is in child abuse, dysfunctional family systems, and sex addiction. He is the author of many peer-reviewed articles, and the author of: When He’s Married to Mom; Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners; and A Light in the Dark. He’s an authority on addiction and talks to Glass about the compulsive and manipulative parent. Enmeshment is something many of Glass’s clients get caught up in, often without realizing they are doing it — abusing and damaging their children in a way that can last a lifetime. Glass gets into some straight, eye-opening dialogue with Adams, who breaks down the enmeshment issue in no uncertain terms. Are you sharing "too much information" with your child? Are you depending on them to give you attention, affection and support in the absence of an intimate partner? Is your child made to feel guilty if they are not as helpful as you think they should be? If you are appropriate with your children, good job! What about your ex? Does he or she fit the enmeshment profile? Most therapists are aware of this troubling trend since its formal identification, and there is plenty of help to change this family dynamic in a meaningful way. For now, watch Host Glass and Adams. Their conversation will surely enlighten you. Stay for the credits. There is a list of resources you can reach out to for help.

Dr. Kenneth M. Adams Discusses An Unhealthy Family Dynamic with Long-Term Effects

As you can tell, Host Glass and Dr. Kenneth Adams carefully explored the ramifications of enmeshment during their conversation on the subject. After processing Adams' discussion, Glass homed in on what he thought the key takeaways should be which he points out in this blog entry: What does enmeshment look like and what are the dangers for the child who is innocently swept up in it? Some parents may have thought of closeness to their child as a sign of a strong bond, but when the tight relationship shows signs of inappropriate nonsexual intimacy, trouble is ahead. What Glass emphasizes during his visit with Adams—boundaries must be set. A parent can't designate his/her child as the absent intimate partner—the person with whom they shared everything. Glass stresses that Enmeshment is the breeding ground for what is likely to be the foundation of a lifelong dysfunctional family dynamic. Take a look at Glass's laundry lists in this blog entry, they just might help you get ahead of the problem or resolve the issue in a productive way before it's too late.

As you can tell, Host Glass and Dr. Kenneth Adams carefully explored the ramifications of enmeshment during their conversation on the subject. After processing Adams' discussion, Glass homed in on what he thought the key takeaways should be which he points out in this blog entry: What does enmeshment look like and what are the dangers for the child who is innocently swept up in it? Some parents may have thought of closeness to their child as a sign of a strong bond, but when the tight relationship shows signs of inappropriate nonsexual intimacy, trouble is ahead. What Glass emphasizes during his visit with Adams—boundaries must be set. A parent can't designate his/her child as the absent intimate partner—the person with whom they shared everything. Glass stresses that Enmeshment is the breeding ground for what is likely to be the foundation of a lifelong dysfunctional family dynamic. Take a look at Glass's laundry lists in this blog entry, they just might help you get ahead of the problem or resolve the issue in a productive way before it's too late.

Read current blog entry →

Wow, Host Glass really hit a nerve in Season 8, thus far with the two interviews he’s conducted on Parental Alienation, featuring fathers, whose stories have all the makings of a Netflix series! He’s also shined a spotlight on Domestic Violence, giving TheHourGLASSpodcast fans a thorough understanding of what constitutes it. Domestic Violence is not always physical, mental, and emotional “violence,” it can include a host of offenses. In this season’s Episode 8Glass covers Enmeshment with expert and author Dr. Kenneth Adams. This is a relatively new label assigned to an age-old problem. Enmeshment is when the parent leans on the child to become the surrogate “intimate partner” by making their child feel responsible for their emotional and often physical well-being, and overall, expects them to fill the void of their spouse or intimate partner. Sometimes a parent will do this unwittingly; other times a parent will knowingly manipulate the child, which can cause lifelong wounds that can be just as damaging as physical harm. Examples can range from making the child responsible for meal prep to being a sounding board for the parent’s most personal issues. In this new Episode 8Host Glass, along with premier expert on EnmeshmentDr. Kenneth Adams (best known for his groundbreaking work in sex addiction) and Glass, launch into an earnest conversation about this form of child abuse, which was not considered a “thing” until research categorized it as a form of child abuse. Adams and Host Glass unpack this pervasive problem carefully. During the interview, Adams often refers to his books’ content in When He’s Married to Mom; and Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners; and A Light In the Dark. Enmeshment is not exclusive to mothers and sons either, as Adams explains, it can be any parent/child combo. It’s a great conversation.

In case you need to catch up, binge earlier season episodeswhere you can pick and choose from more than 200 interviews in the podcast’s Prior Seasons/Episodes section (links on the landing page). Thus far in Season 8, Glass zoomed in on Parental Alienation and Domestic Violence. His interviews featured: Ryan Hoffer, (EP 7) creator and founder of the Forged Fathers Movement, an organization geared to help the left-out father post breakup through his 7-Step Reset Program; and Victor Dohleman (EP 1) who shared his 25-year battle to reunite with his three kids. California State Sen. Susan RubioDistrict 22 (EP 6), itemized some of the laws addressing Domestic Violence, breaking down what’s covered in Senate Bill 331, Piqui’s Law, a bill she authored. Also, psychologist, Dr. Richard Warshak (EP 2) pinpointed the psychological impact of the PAS syndrome. We also heard from “live to tell” assault victim Alesia Litteral (EP 3) whose husband shot her 7 times and stabbed her more than 33. Host Glass also had some serious banter with Matt Murphy (EP 4), former prosecutor for Orange County, CA D.A.’s office about relationship red flags and familial homicide. That was then followed with straight talk with legendary trial attorney, Mark Geragos (EP 5), as he weighed in on the consequences for the battering and homicidal intimate partner perpetrator. Coming up in Season 8’s Episode is co-parent coach and author, Darlene Taylor, who talks about how she uprooted her daughter from their home in Cincinnati, Ohio, to move West so she could more effectively co-parent with her daughter’s father, UCLA’s head basketball coachMike Cronin. Following Taylor’s insightful interview, there will be some surprise guests during the remainder of Season 8 who discuss “gray divorce,” a trending norm now among older intimate partners, and kids having to live in two households, and how to make that regular arrangement less stressful. Tune in every second Saturday of the month for more new Episodes! They are always thought-provoking, enlightening, and jam-packed with sensible tips. You won’t want to miss any one of them. But, if you do, you can always access TheHourGLASSpodcast prior Seasons/Episodes section in the library below.

Whether this is your first episode or you have been with us from the beginning, explore Seasons 1 through 8 below and discover conversations that matter.

Prior Seasons/Episodes

BreakingGLASS

Celebrity divorce attorney and former psychologist David Glass unpacks the latest pop culture
headlines and high-profile relationship dramas, offering expert insight, sharp analysis, and a glimpse into the human stories behind the news.

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of TheHourGLASS Podcast.