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Where Family Law and Psychology Intersect

In Host Glass’s opinion, Darlene Taylor, MSW, CSWA, CPC and author of: It’s Not About Us: A Co-Parenting Survival Guide to Taking the High Road, made a smart move when she agreed to leave her post as a professor at the University of Cincinnati and head to Los Angeles. She moved from Ohio to L.A. when her ex, head basketball coach, Mick Cronin, asked if she would, after he was offered the same job at UCLA. Their daughter was heading into middle school, as she explained to Glass, and she had to make a hard decision. Stay or go. Taylor carefully considered that major adjustment, she tells Host Glass, and soon realized it was the right thing to do. She wanted her daughter, Sammi, to have the benefit of growing up with both parents involved in the child's activities and events. And, she did not want their daughter to have to shuttle back and forth across the country throughout the year. Taylor’s book, a breakthrough tutorial on how to do what is best for the kids, isn’t just a recount of her story—not just a narrative. It’s a roadmap that lays out 15 “pearls of wisdom”—strategies meant to help exes co-parent their kids in a positive and productive way. Open and honest, Taylor comments on the acrimony that was present for a period of time with Cronin, and how taking the “high road,” reaped many rewards over the years. She talks boundaries, too. Their daughter, now in college, remains grateful to her parents for making her upbringing a collaborative effort. Host Glass was impressed when he learned Cronin wrote the foreword to Taylor’s book; her daughter, the afterword. Taylor, who had no friends, family, or colleagues when she moved to L.A., discusses her ascent to social worker, which inspired her to found her own business, one that prepared the way for her work today as a Certified Professional Coach, Parenting Expert and Co-Parent Advocate. She covers all that during this spirited interview with personable Host Glass. You may consider her story heartbreaking or heartwarming, depending on your perspective, but in the end, it is life-affirming—it’s a situation where the parents put the child first and Taylor is quick to assert: exes can collaborate in raising the kids together even though their intimate relationship is in the rearview mirror. Grab something to take notes on for this interview. Her tips are likely to have you jotting down your own personal reasons for taking the high road as a parent.

Certified Professional Coach/Author, Darlene Taylor, Mick Cronin’s ex, talks effective co-parenting by taking the “high road.”

In this LookingGlass entry, Host Glass offers both tips and reasons why it is so important to maintain a “workable” relationship with your ex when it comes to the child(ren), despite your differences. Most of his pointers are hard-hitting and may leave you thinking twice about how you approach day-to-day dealings with your ex. While many parents count the days until they will no longer have to interface with their ex as the co-parent (assuming it will only be a matter of time before they need to continue to do so—meaning once the child(ren) become of age and leave the nest, they will no longer need to have any connection or relationship with their ex)—he counters the idea; says that presumption is not true. There really is no end to co-parenting with an ex unless one or more of the parties is no longer living. There will be many major events, like weddings, funerals, birthdays, and other memorable milestones including holidays and the births of grandchildren. Forging a “workable” co-parenting approach is a must. In this blog entry, Glass carefully and methodically ticks off a list of sensible and effective strategies to reach that goal. It starts with one’s mindset. When looking at the problem from a distance, through a different lens, and objectively, a co-parent can begin to see how their actions and words will likely affect the child(ren) long after they become adults. Glass coaxes the audience co-parent to ask themselves this question: Will what I’m saying or doing—my behaviors and communication—be to the benefit of my children, or not? If the answer is no, it’s time to change course and consider how to forge a working relationship with your ex.

In this LookingGlass entry, Host Glass offers both tips and reasons why it is so important to maintain a “workable” relationship with your ex when it comes to the child(ren), despite your differences. Most of his pointers are hard-hitting and may leave you thinking twice about how you approach day-to-day dealings with your ex. While many parents count the days until they will no longer have to interface with their ex as the co-parent (assuming it will only be a matter of time before they need to continue to do so—meaning once the child(ren) become of age and leave the nest, they will no longer need to have any connection or relationship with their ex)—he counters the idea; says that presumption is not true. There really is no end to co-parenting with an ex unless one or more of the parties is no longer living. There will be many major events, like weddings, funerals, birthdays, and other memorable milestones including holidays and the births of grandchildren. Forging a “workable” co-parenting approach is a must. In this blog entry, Glass carefully and methodically ticks off a list of sensible and effective strategies to reach that goal. It starts with one’s mindset. When looking at the problem from a distance, through a different lens, and objectively, a co-parent can begin to see how their actions and words will likely affect the child(ren) long after they become adults. Glass coaxes the audience co-parent to ask themselves this question: Will what I’m saying or doing—my behaviors and communication—be to the benefit of my children, or not? If the answer is no, it’s time to change course and consider how to forge a working relationship with your ex.

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BreakingGLASS

Tune in to TheHourGLASSpodcast where David Glass will soon discuss the Clancy case and the troublesome issues surrounding families and postpartum.

Glass on the Clancy case — watch on YouTube

This new Episode offers another informative author interview with Darlene Taylor, who talks about a very sensitive topic: Co-parenting with your ex. Darlene Taylor shares her story; her struggle to make a life-altering decision as to whether she would agree to a move from Cincinnati to L.A. so her daughter, Sammi, could grow up (geographically) close to both parents. Taylor’s ex is legendary head UCLA basketball coach, Mick Cronin. Though their divorce had been a contentious one, it was six years later when Cronin got the offer from the “public ivy” school. By then, relations had smoothed out some between the couple. After weighing the pros and cons, Taylor took the “high road” (the theme of her simple yet profound tutorial) and finally agreed to relocate to L.A., a city where she had no family, no friends, and no job. In this 9th Episode of Season 8, she talks about that journey, both the physical logistics and the emotional strain. She then engages in a candid discussion about how taking the “high road” and how a parent can take it with grace and dignity. She shares a handful of her 15 “pearls of wisdom” that are outlined in her book: It’s Not About Us: A Co-parenting Survival Guide to Taking the High Road. Taylor doesn’t shy away from any question Host Glass throws at her in a close, intimate look at what inspired her to make the decision, what it was like along the way, and how the result benefited everyone, equally. Glass’s theme this season has covered other related topics such as: Enmeshment, defined in part by Dr. Kenneth Adams who describes it as a dysfunctional dynamic—when the parent leans on the child to become the surrogate “intimate partner,” by making their child feel responsible for their emotional and often physical well-being; Parental Alienation, featuring fathers, whose stories have all the makings of a Netflix series! He’s also shined a spotlight on Domestic Violence, giving TheHourGLASSpodcast fans a thorough understanding of what constitutes it. Domestic Violence is not always physical, mental, and emotional “violence,” it can include a host of offenses like “mind games.” Dr. Kenneth Adams (best known for his groundbreaking work in sex addiction) and Glass launched into an earnest conversation about this form of child abuse, which was not considered a “thing” until recent research categorized it as a form of child abuse. Adams and Host Glass unpack this pervasive problem carefully and Adams explains that it can be any parent/child combo. It’s a great conversation.

In case you need to catch up, binge earlier Prior Seasons/Episodes where you can pick and choose from more than 200 interviews and a slew of topics. (Links are on the landing page). Thus far in Season 8, Glass zoomed in on Parental Alienation and Domestic Violence. His interviews featured: Ryan Hoffer, (EP 7) creator and founder of the Forged Fathers Movement, an organization geared to help the left-out father post breakup through his 7-Step Reset Program; and Victor Dohleman (EP 1) who shared his 25-year battle to re-unite with his three kids. California State Sen. Susan Rubio, District 22 (EP 6) itemized some of the laws addressing Domestic Violence, breaking down what’s covered in Senate Bill 331, Piqui’s Law; a bill she authored. Also, psychologist, Dr. Richard Warshak (EP 2) pinpointed the psychological impact of the PAS syndrome”; and we also heard from “live to tell” assault victim Alesia Litteral (EP 3) whose husband shot her seven times and stabbed her more than 33. Host Glass also had some serious banter with Matt Murphy (EP 4), former prosecutor for Orange County, CA D.A.’s office about relationship red flags and familial homicide. That was then followed by a sober talk with legendary trial attorney, Mark Geragos (EP 5), as he weighed in on the consequences for the intimate partner batterer and homicidal perpetrator.

Coming up: Season 8’s Episode 10 will also focus on co-parenting with author, Karen Buscemi, and how to deal with an uncooperative co-parent. Buscemi also covers what it’s like when kids must live in two households: how to make that regular arrangement smooth and easy for everyone involved. Also this fall, Glass will share a candid conversation with author, Linda Hershman, (Episode 11) who speaks on "Gray Divorce": How to get through the breakup of a long-term marriage or intimate partner relationship. Tune in every second Saturday of the month for more new Episodes! They are always thought-provoking, enlightening, and packed with sensible advice. You won’t want to miss any one of them. Please subscribe to TheHourGLASSpodcast and write to Host Glass and the production team with an email request for a guest appearance or topics you would like Glass to cover. Thehourglasspod@gmail.com.

Whether this is your first episode or you have been with us from the beginning, explore Seasons 1 through 8 below and discover conversations that matter.

Prior Seasons/Episodes

Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed by guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of TheHourGLASS Podcast.